I pray, read Qur’an, fast, but I still feel distant from Islam, what can I do?

I pray, read Qur’an, fast, but I still feel distant from Islam, what can I do?


I need advice. Despite the fact that I’ve read your blog, read many articles on Islam, watched videos, read the Qur’an, memorized some of the Qur’an, attended lectures in the mosques, talked to Alims, I still am not satisfied. I’m Muslim, but I feel distant from Islam. I pray, I fast, etc, I do everything a Muslim should do, but I just feel weird. I don’t feel like I’m getting anything out of it I feel lost, and confused. I need advice, how do I get closer to Islam? What am I missing?

Salaam alykum,

You have to understand yourself.

Everything else can only make sense if you understand your perceptions of things.

What is most important to you? Discipline? Spirituality? Connection to God?

How do you understand God? Is it from your parents? Overbearing Sunday school teacher? Rebellion? Can you change that? Do you need to change that?

You feel distant from Islam because you have not made it your own. For all the knowledge that lectures, videos, Alims, whatever, can offer, at the end of the day you must make Islam your Islam.

No one speaks about this, because they are (rightfully) concerned with ensuring that people have doctrinal consistency, which is important, but, I think the by-product is that people create an identity (consciously or not) in which they either mold their mind in conformity or divergence to the perceptions offered with the advice, because those are the sole options in their minds.

No matter what I, or anyone else says, you have to look at Islam as yours, because it is, it is supposed to give your brain that impetus to improve yourself, to do better. Heck, even that interpretation, is simply mine. I would argue that my point is general enough and supported by The Qur’an, but maybe I’m the one who needs to look at Islam that way, while those are a given to you, and you must look at Islam differently?

Who knows?

Only you and God do.

So, explore Islam on your terms, but you can only effectively do that once you have reached a certain level of self-awareness, which I would argue (and this is how I did it, maybe you’re different) that you should be able to know why you are doing x, y, and z and not a, b, and c.

Do not look at it as you are disconnected from Islam, because the desire is there, you must make the effort to understand yourself, which will benefit you, and thus ask God, sincerely, for what you want, and take the steps, and you’ll see it happen. It’s not going to be tomorrow, but, things will change, but that change is predicated on how you wish to see things.

I hope this helped, and if not, feel free to message me privately, insha Allah.

I pray this reaches you and your families in the best of health and Iman, insha Allah.

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